Wednesday, January 30, 2013

My kilt story

Over at Bou's she had a post about her Da and a night out with a Scottish gathering for all things Scottish. It reminded me of an incident with some lads under similar circumstances. So I liberally quote my response here with some embellishments:

I've the fuzzy man-legs for a kilt, but no excuse for it.

A German and Irish heritage (with a fair amount of British as well, though much further back) is not a real legacy for kilts.

We were having a celebration upon a day, as it were. It was a SpecOps thing and we had some of Scotlands finest in attendance, Paras I believe. Perhaps Royal Marines or Commandos. Regardless, they were arrayed in their finest and had brought their pipes (huzzah!) as they were true Scots and more the welcome for their pipes. Strapping lads one and all.

My wife, wonderful lass that she is, had not much real experience with Scots, though she had heard things.

So, while mingling and imbibing (early on though, she'd no need of liquid courage for this) inquired if what she had heard of Scots and kilts was true. She felt emboldened I imagine since she could see that we all knew one another and were comfortable around each other.

So, I invited one of the lads over for her to speak with.

I told her, "Go ahead and ask him if you'd wish dear".

Ah, we were still young enough that she was want to avoid a bad reaction on my part lest these things be true, my blessing to her inquiry allowing as to my being comfortable with this line of inquiry.

So, she asked if it were true about what a Scot wore beneath his kilt.

He glanced at me and cocked an eyebrow, awaiting my reaction.

Understanding that although I was never the owner of the chiseled physique of Rambo, I was still 6'4", 185, in Special Forces and not as an accountant.

I assured him it was fine with me if he was willing to accede to the lady's inquiry.

So he showed her that a true Scot only wears what the good Lord gave him beneath his kilt.

Turns out that he was a natural red head.

Turns out that my wife was able to do a very passable imitation of red her self.

And the night went on in fine fashion, all of us having a thoroughly good time.

Though my dear bride still remembers and refers to that incident when the subject of kilts comes up.

And what is not beneath them.

And that is my kilt story. :)


  1. And a good kilt story it is!

  2. I had this comment and my 3rd son walked in, distracted me... and it's gone. Dang it.

    There was a guy in my Dad's band that once a year (St. Pat's?) used to make sure a blue ribbon was dangling under his kilt so people would notice. There is that song about winning first prize...

    One year my band was playing at a local horse track. I will never understand why the horse track people would pay a bagpipe band to play once a year. I think the jockeys hated us...

    Anyway, we had this real extrovert in the band. Whenever anyone asked what a Scot wore under his kilt, he'd jump up and down, look at the ground, point and say, "Baby Powder".

    This particular gig had free flowing beer and food. I think that's the reason our Pipe Major accepted the invite. This particular piper got particularly hammered that day and fell, his kilt flying up to his waist. He wore underwear.

    Me? I was glad I didn't get a shot of something I had no desire to see.

    The guys? Were appalled... Heh. His bravado was toned way way down...

  3. I've been told that when a guy has underwear on, he's just a man in a skirt.

    Yeah, I've heard that song, tis funny indeed.

    Generally, folks that go overboard like that are compensating, he sounds like one.

    I may still learn to play the pipes, they call to me when I hear them. I'm the owner of several LPs worth, dating back to my high school days when I first learned to love their sound.

  4. Hilarious! You picked two fine possibles, them being Paras or Royal Marines commandos. Either with Jock elements therin would flash their heritage. Royal Marines SBS, however, would wear something rubber under theirs ;)

  5. @HD - It took me a moment of reflection to catch the SBS joke. Apropos to them. :D